Content:
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Lesson 1: Mr. Fixit and the Home Improvement Committee
The most
common complaint women have about men is that men don't lesson here the
completely
Ignores her when she speaks to him or he quickly assesses
what's troubling her and then offers a solution to make her feel better he gets
confused this health when she doesn't appreciate it she just wants empathy but
he thinks she wants solutions to stop giving unsolicited advice show compassion
and listen to your partner
On the flip side, Men complain that women are always
trying to change them she thinks she is caring for him while he feels he's
being controlled instead he just wants her acceptance she presumes a man
doesn't know what to do and he can't do it on his own men want to prove their
competent by achieving things themselves
You may have noticed by now that John Gray the author of
this book tends to stereotype genders ignoring the fact that people are unique regardless
of their gender, we'll discuss this at the end of the Article
Lesson 2: men go to their caves and women talk
Men and women cope with stress differently, men become
focused and withdrawn whereas women become overwhelmed and emotionally involved
during these times, men feel better by solving problems while women feel better
by talking about their problems, in times of stress men will retreat to their
caves he becomes quiet Mull's over a solution and then gradually comes out of
his cave if he can't find a solution, he'll do something to forget his problems
like watch TV or play a video game he needs space women on the other hand feel
better by talking about their problems, she wants to express herself and feel
understood before finding solutions a woman will appreciate a man if he truly
listens.
Lesson 3: Men, unlike rubber bands and women, are like waves.
A rubber band is a
metaphor for the male intimacy cycle men get close pull away and then get close
again men have an instinctive urge to pull away from time to time, this is commonly
misunderstood by women especially when they try to share their feelings, but
their man pulls away, however, a man should at least reassure their partner of
when they'll come back
a woman is like a
wave, a woman's self-esteem rises and falls like a wave men can get confused and
frustrated thinking that they've made her upset, let's return to lesson one
don't give unsolicited advice during this time also after listening to a woman, don't expect her to feel better straight away
Lesson 4: scoring points with the opposite sex.
No matter how big or small a gift of love is for a woman it
scores, just one point but in a man's mind a bigger gift means more points, let's
say Danny raised his income from $50,000 to $100,000 to support the family to
him that may be worth 50 points but to his wife, that's only one point likewise, if he bought an expensive car for his wife as a gift of love it would still be
worth one point no matter how much he paid for the car this can explain why men
get confused when their wives aren't satisfied giving your wife two kisses -
hugs and a compliment could score you many more points than if you were to buy her
an expensive watch
The last lesson, Lesson 5: speaking different languages.
Honey are you okay I'm fine so she says, she might be fine
but she might not, when a guy says he's fine so to fully express their
feelings women speak poetically use superlatives metaphors and generalizations.
Men mistakenly take these expressions literally and miss understand the
intended meaning, so what should you do look deeper, what is the underlying
issue here's an example, Sally says the house is always a mess Cecil, replies
are you kidding me I always clean the house and before I'm finished you mess it
up again.
Now this is a bad way of responding because what she really may mean is I need to relax today, but the house is messy I'm frustrated and I need to rest, you clean a lot for me but for today could you please offer to help clean part of it try not to take everything literally especially when emotions are running high otherwise, you'll get frustrated, another example Sally says you don't love me anymore.
But what she really may mean is today I don't feel loved I know you love me I'm just feeling a little insecure at the moment would you reassure me of your love don't expect to be perfect at reading women straightaway it takes time and effort to get to know how your partner behaves.
Now this is a bad way of responding because what she really may mean is I need to relax today, but the house is messy I'm frustrated and I need to rest, you clean a lot for me but for today could you please offer to help clean part of it try not to take everything literally especially when emotions are running high otherwise, you'll get frustrated, another example Sally says you don't love me anymore.
But what she really may mean is today I don't feel loved I know you love me I'm just feeling a little insecure at the moment would you reassure me of your love don't expect to be perfect at reading women straightaway it takes time and effort to get to know how your partner behaves.
Before you go it's
up to you on how you decide to use this information. this book was published in
1992 by John Gray who apparently has little credibility. the book is rated
three and a half out of five stars based on 3400 reviews and a hundred and
fourteen thousand readers on Goodreads.com.
Which is considered low on this website in the day and age of the feminist movement many argue that the author is a sexist pop psychologist who pigeonholes people into gender stereotypes and NER forgives worthless advice, whilst I do partly agree that's not to say we should ignorantly flush it all down the toilet? this book has genuinely helped me in my relationship regardless of your gender here are five important points that everyone can benefit from
Which is considered low on this website in the day and age of the feminist movement many argue that the author is a sexist pop psychologist who pigeonholes people into gender stereotypes and NER forgives worthless advice, whilst I do partly agree that's not to say we should ignorantly flush it all down the toilet? this book has genuinely helped me in my relationship regardless of your gender here are five important points that everyone can benefit from
- : don't give unsolicited advice
- : understand people need space sometimes
- : listen to people when they talk
- : it's a little things that count
- : when someone is upset don't take words literally, try to understand the underlying issue
thanks for reading guys and I genuinely hope this helps
you in improving your life feel free to drop a comment below and subscribe to
the Blog I really appreciate it have an awesome Day.
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